Big Move

Good Morning! Check out my new blog on wordpress: http://www.brookeinthemezzanine.wordpress.com/

Hope you find something encouraging there.

Wilde

via pinterest

Very true Mr. Wilde. Very true indeed.

question

Hello friends! I've missed this blog. As with most infrequent bloggers I have found new energy for my little space in the big Internet world with the new year. With this second wind I've decided to expand my blog to include more of my life as I'm living it. Because that's what living in truth is all about - living! So in 2012 look for pictures, stories, misadventures and God's sweet lessons.

That being said there is no time like the present to get going! Last week I read this great article by Jen Schmidt. This brave woman wrote about the controversial topic of submission. Primarily the article was about encouraging women to submit to their husbands. But as I am figuring out submission isn't just for marriage it is for the here and now.

Let me be perfectly honest this was big news for me because I'm realizing more and more how much I loathe authority. I don't like it when people tell me what to do or when they call me out on my sin. I want to be my own authority and ultimately I want to rule my life and put each piece of it in its place to make a perfect picture. In my sin I only submit to authority when it benefits me. I'm comfortable here. Pushing submission to the back of mind.This is where the issue of submission has nicely stayed until Jen asked me the true million dollar question: "Am I truly going to submit my life to Christ?"

For me that question included submitting my:
- career
- future marriage to acknowledge my husband as the leader
- words to only be up building
- family planning on if I will have kids and how many I will have
- time and how it is spent
- money and offerings
- image on how others perceive me

These are big topics. Some of them that I don't want to give up control of even to my God. But, through prayer and the word I am working through it. Every day I am amazed about how much lighter I feel about giving a little more of myself, my hopes, my dreams over to Christ. It's a scary process. With each one I'm saying "Are you sure you can handle this?" (Yes. I am that arrogant to ask God daily, my own creator, if He can handle something as small as my daily worries.)What I'm learning is submission isn't just an obedience issue. It's a faith issue. Literally I'm putting faith in God to have the final say in every decision in my life. Meaning it isn't my life anymore it is His. Instead of saying "can you handle it?" I'm saying "I completely trust you to do what is best even if I don't understand why." Submission gently carries away your selfishness and anxiety to the foundation of knowing you have put God in ultimate control of everything. Scary? Yes. Amazing? Double yes.

So here's the question: Are you going to submit?

More than Enough

I watched two of my favorite kiddos last Friday. We ate pizza, drank Fresca and talked about life through an eight year old's eyes. After dinner we played a memory game. The three year old won. "More!" They said. I declined once was enough and I promised their mom they would be in bed by a certain hour. "Can we sing Jingle Bells first?" The eight year old asked. I nodded. She started Glee's version of Jingle Bells we sang and danced around the house ending in a ring a round the rosie circle complete with the fall to the floor. "More!" They shouted. " No more time for bed," I told them. They groaned a little, but went to put on their pj's. I won't go into details about the bedtime stories. I read two, of course they wanted three. I laughed with their parents later on how kids are never satisfied. It seems to be their nature.

The next week the Lord made me aware of my own nature. I noticed it in my second cup of coffee, because the first was so good. I went for two (three) cookies, because they went well with my coffee. My lunch break I wished was ten more minutes so I could finish the chapter in my book. When I woke up the next day even though I had over eight hours of sleep I instantly wanted nine. Going back to work I wanted one more day to get stuff done around the house. I was losing joy, because I was not thankful for what was given, but sulky over what was witheld.

In light of the Lord showing me how I'm always tugging at His arm for more blessings I have been trying to be content as I wrestle with myself that I don't need more, because He is more than enough.

Phillipians 4:11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13I can do all things through him who strengthens me.


-b

Growing Pains

I just want to grow.

When I was kid my mom had the prettiest flower bed on the street.

Let me give you a little context:

- I lived in her house

- I ate her food

- I wore the clothes she bought for me

-She drove me everywhere

Yes this is what moms are supposed to do, but by no means did she have to do everything for me that she did. My mom always went above and beyond. I am truly blessed. She asked me one thing in return as I sat at home day in and day out over my summer breaks: Take care of the garden. Which meant two things:

1. Pull the weeds
2. Water the flowers

EVERYDAY

This was a lot to ask. I had tons of cereal to eat and a lot of television to watch. Taking care of the garden in the 90 degree weather wasn't on top of my priority list. But I felt that I owed my mom something. So I made the smallest effort possible. Every other day I would water the flowers for approximately 5 seconds.

Mom would come in the afternoons asking if I watered them. I would always reply "yes". She would then mumble something about them looking wilty and go water them again. Every few days she would ask if I had pulled the weeds. My reply was "yes". Then she would have me come outside and look at all the dandelions and purpley flowers that were taking away the sun and water from the flowers she had so tenderly planted. "If you pulled them, why are they still growing?" My reply went something like this: "I don't know" pathetic shrug. My mom being the wise woman she is asked me to show her how I pulled the weeds. I reached low and snapped off the stem. " Well there's your problem," she said. "Silly girl you aren't pulling them up by the root."

Friends today I feel like the flower in that untended bed. I feel lost in a seed of weeds which are the enemy's lies. They block the light and still my water. These weeds sound something like this:

" You can't open a business. It will fail."

" He doesn't like you. He would be better off with her. She's a better catch."

" God doesn't have good things for you. If you want something you have to take it."

These are all lies. If I listen to them too long my faith begins to wilt. I feel weak and begin to believe them. God is a loving caretaker. He sent someone much better than lazy me to tend and keep his garden. He sent Jesus. Through Jesus everyday I'm able to get a fresh dose of water. His mercies are new every morning.

Don't be lazy. Learn from Jesus how to be diligent in keeping your garden. One of the main reasons I let the weeds grow was because I didn't see their harm. Yellow dandelions look an awful lot like flowers. Now I realize you have to pull them up completley. There is no room in the garden for even one little root of a lie. If you let it stay it will breed many more. Eventually if left unchecked it will kill everything you worked so hard to grow.

As these lies are being uprooted from my heart I can feel that their roots have become intertwined with mine. This makes pulling them out hurt A LOT. However I'm thankful to have Jesus to tend to me. What would this garden be without Him? He's teaching me to discern between the lies and the truth. Now I'm able to catch lies more quickly which makes uprooting them much easier. This whole scenario reminds me of Matthew 13:24 -30 .
Tend to your gardens friends as Jesus does.

EVERYDAY we must

1. Pull out the lies through prayer
2. Water our hearts through the word

This will culitvate an unending desire to grow.

What are some of the weeds in your life?

The Good Fight

Have you ever known someone who grew up in a war zone? They can probably tell you stories of falling asleep to the sound of crashing bombs. They know people who walk around with melded flesh under their shirts from getting to close to a grenade. More than likely they have friends or family who were kidnapped and are still missing. For years fear ruled their every step. People who grow up in the midst of war have an almost incurable sense of hopelessness. The only hope they have is to get out. To find a safe place.

Do you know anyone who has lived a life like this? I do. These stories are true and weigh on me in numerous ways. They should weigh on you as well, because we all know more about leaving in a war zone than we would like. It may not be like what is going on in the Middle East. But everyday people are deeply wounded by the enemy, their sins, and the sins of others. We are all in the same fight. The one for our souls. No where is immune from this war. The only place that is safe is with our saviour Jesus Christ.

Maybe "go to Jesus" sounds too "spiritual" for you, but it is true. For the majority of my life I grew up unable to believe in God, because I didn't believe that anything could be good. I had no hope. Jesus in His unimaginable grace saw me broken and alone left to die on the battlefield. He sent people to my side. By trusting in Him I woke up someone new, as someone with hope. That this war will end. Jesus has been carefully tending, and healing each of my wounds. Now I have a choice. I can hang back where it is safe, or I can go back out into the battle.

Christian do you ever think about the people who are still out there? The ones losing these fights against the flesh. These aren't just sins that put them on the nice or naughty list. They are sins that are taking them further away from the truth of Christ, and could cost them their eternal lives.

Would you leave the person you love the most in danger? I hope you wouldn't. If you could get to them to save them you would do everything you could, even if that meant your own life. That's what Jesus did for us. He gave up everything glorious, safe, and comfortable to come onto earth's battlefield and save as many people as would listen. Are we following His example? Not just for the ones we love, but the ones He loves. Today I am greatly convicted that I have been pushing away the knowledge of this ongoing war too long. Convincing myself that I have suffered enough and shouldn't have to go back out there. Reasoning that I don't need to pay attention to the grocery store clerk, hairdresser, single mom because someone else who is a better example of Christ will do it. What a selfish fool I have been.

In Romans 1 God calls us to make disciples. If we are saved in Christ we don't have a choice our life is not our own. It is His. We owe Him our lives. Today I am convicted of good friends that I have chosen to forget about. Thankfully the Lord hasn't forgotten them. He died for them. These friends are in dark places. So deep into the war zone they think that it is the only life there is, they are giving up. I know there is hope for them. With the armor of God I'm running to them hoping against hope that the Lord will prepare their hearts for the message of the gospel.

Let me be clear. I can't fix them. They don't need me. I'm no hero. Jesus is. The way we fight is by bringing truth. We can't change people's hearts. The gospel is what changes a man. However if we are not preaching it who will?

Jesus knew he would die when he came into earth's battle. To Him it was worth the cost. He came for me. He came for you. As Christians are we going to leave the ones He died for out suffering on the battefield? If we are Christs we know that we must go to them. Friends today is that day. Please pray with me for the ones who are still lost. Have faith for those people we have given up on. Let's hope, pray, and fast for them together. They can't get back to safety on their own. The only peace that they will ever know in this world is the peace of Christ. As long as we are on this earth let's make it a good fight.

This blog was inspired by this week's sermon by Mark Driscoll. Listen to it here.

Deal With It.

My body has a “numb mode.” I can shut-off all emotion. Going numb is how I’ve handled car accidents, divorces, betrayals, disappointments and loss. Why do I cope this way? I don’t want to burden anyone else with my problems. So I keep telling myself, I can handle it. However, instead of dealing with these situations, I lock the door on the issue. Right now, the Lord is waiting patiently for me to let him into these locked rooms. Ones that I have kept tightly shut for years.

How do you cope with things? We all have our ways of “Keeping Calm and Carrying On.” Think back to a hard time in your life. How did you get through it? Did you lock God out?

Here are some suggestions on dealing:

Write it out – Some things hurt too much. Take your pen and write the words you can’t say. Be honest with God “I think this person’s intentions were…” “Lord why are you testing me in this way?” “ How can you love us, and hurt us?” Have you ever not been able to say something to a person, but can write a note or FB message? Same thing with prayer. No matter which form you take, He answers in the same way.

Tell someone – First take it to God, then have someone else help you sort out your feelings. It is not a badge of honor that you don't need any help. Dealing with something well, does not mean doing it alone. If you aren't sharing what you are going through, the enemy will manipulate you. It puts him in a position to steal your hope.

Crying is not weakness – Cry it out. Jesus did. God helps those who are weak. The Lord gave us tears to help us express emotions that have no words. By refusing to cry you are hardening a part of yourself that the Lord installed in us speicfically for coping. When Joesph was mourning the death of his father he and the rest of the country took seventy days to do it! Resist the urge to skip the tears, and fast forward to, “I’m fine.”


All of us have been some tough times. To build community we need to share our struggles, and take time to help others with theirs. You have a choice to either carry past hurts your whole life leaving you bitter, and broken or you can give Jesus the keys to our locked rooms. Don't let these things become a breeding ground for insecurity, and distrust. Time can not heal all things, but God will if we let him in.